Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
