I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
