If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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