Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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