am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
