i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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