my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
