it was like his penis was on wheels.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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