I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
