We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
