I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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