GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
