Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
