8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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