So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
