Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
