i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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