My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The struggles of a small town man whore
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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