Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
