sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
