I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
