it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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