Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
