Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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