if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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