The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize