capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
