You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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