dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
