let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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