Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
