No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just high enough for therapy.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
