I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
