even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
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I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize