but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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