i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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