What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
