dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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