I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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