This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i already hear my dad disowning me
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
