i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
