id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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