I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
