she pinky promised me she was 18
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
