My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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