you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
