If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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