I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I want her autograph on my taint
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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