The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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