hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
