My nipple is on Facebook.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
