Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
ok first of all what the fuck
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
