Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
