Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
