do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
