it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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