ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize