Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
